I was at rehearsal the other day, and I just kinda broke. I didn’t feel like I belonged, at all. I thought to myself, “how is it that I’ve poured my heart out to this company, to this theatre, to these people, and I’m not getting any love back?” Needless to say, I started snowballing down a track that wasn’t the best for my self esteem. I started thinking about everyone I’ve given my love to, and how many of those people make me feel like I don’t belong. After I went through everyone in my life, I had a list of six people, plus my family, who made me feel loved. I just felt empty. I felt like there was no possible way I could show love to anyone else ever again. And y’all, that’s the point of all this. It is not healthy for us to get to a point in our lives where we don’t have any energy to love. We have to take time for ourselves, to stop trying to love everyone, and for a moment, let the people who love us love us. Because God didn’t call only me to love, He called all of us to love. Over the past week, I’ve started to find a balance. A balance of loving and being loved. Both are important, and we can’t ignore either of them any longer.
So please, if you find yourself empty because you’ve loved so much, go to Jesus and let Him fill you with His love, and then go find someone who loves you (and if you think nobody does, open your eyes, someone loves you I promise) and let them love you. One of my favorite songs says “As Your love, in wave after wave crashes over me, crashes over me.” But guys, we won’t feel all that love crashing over us if we don’t seek to feel it.
I’ve also been at a time in my life where I’ve done nothing but be loved. And that’s not good either. So if you find yourself being washed in love, that’s great, but give back. Go tell your best friend that you love them, or send an old friend a text.
I’m going to leave you with one of my favorite passages of scripture from 1 John. Please remember y’all, a big part of the church is about people loving people. Love and be loved. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:7-12.