I am tired. Weary tired. Physically, but more emotionally tired. In the last month we have had at least five friends lose loved ones - parents, aunts, grandparents, friends. I have watched moms and dads who pour their lives into their children watch as their children reach unimaginable depths of sadness. I watch teachers every day putting their hearts into reaching their students, concerned about whether or not their student ate breakfast that morning or is scared to go home, while the pressure of the student's academic performance never completely goes away. John and I have both had health concerns. Our church family is undergoing change. Mary and Jack are 14 and 12 - enough said. Finances are tight, laundry keeps happening, the bathtub drain won't completely come unclogged, and dinner needs to happen. My brain is tired and my heart is achy. I want answers and solutions. And I wonder why.
And then Jack says "When we ask God 'why?', it is really saying that we know God has the answer and expressing our faith in him." So I start asking God "why . . . .?" Specific answers don't come, but images of my sweet friends, family and co-workers come to my mind as I pray for them. At times all I can do is speak "Lord", but that is enough because the Spirit intercedes when I don't know what to say. My expressions of frustration turn to prayers for peace and direction as God softens my heart. I ask for forgiveness for my judgment, my negativity, my supposition that I know what is best. My mind and my purpose change to loving more and letting God lead. Entering into the presence of the Lord is the answer. I feel God's reviving spirit breathing on me and I am refreshed. Nothing has physically changed -- the laundry is still there, bills waiting and people hurting -- but I am changed. I turn to the Lord and he revives me from the heat of life and I am ready to serve his people.
My sweet friends, please know I am praying for and with you. But most importantly, please know that even in your weariest, scorched times, the Lord is here to refresh you. Just whisper his name. I love you. He loves you more.
"So repent (change your mind and purpose); turn around and return [to God], that your sins may be erased (blotted out, wiped clean), that times of refreshing (of recovering from the effects of heat, of reviving with fresh air) may come from the presence of the Lord." Acts 3:19
And then Jack says "When we ask God 'why?', it is really saying that we know God has the answer and expressing our faith in him." So I start asking God "why . . . .?" Specific answers don't come, but images of my sweet friends, family and co-workers come to my mind as I pray for them. At times all I can do is speak "Lord", but that is enough because the Spirit intercedes when I don't know what to say. My expressions of frustration turn to prayers for peace and direction as God softens my heart. I ask for forgiveness for my judgment, my negativity, my supposition that I know what is best. My mind and my purpose change to loving more and letting God lead. Entering into the presence of the Lord is the answer. I feel God's reviving spirit breathing on me and I am refreshed. Nothing has physically changed -- the laundry is still there, bills waiting and people hurting -- but I am changed. I turn to the Lord and he revives me from the heat of life and I am ready to serve his people.
My sweet friends, please know I am praying for and with you. But most importantly, please know that even in your weariest, scorched times, the Lord is here to refresh you. Just whisper his name. I love you. He loves you more.
"So repent (change your mind and purpose); turn around and return [to God], that your sins may be erased (blotted out, wiped clean), that times of refreshing (of recovering from the effects of heat, of reviving with fresh air) may come from the presence of the Lord." Acts 3:19