Everyone has standards. Whether we write them down in a little notebook, or we subconsciously make rules in our heads, everybody has standards for people. And I’m not just talking about boyfriends and girlfriends, I’m talking about friends, best friends, co-workers, even parents and children. Because in reality, we all have the “perfect picture” of what we want every relationship in our lives to be, right? The real question is: are we living up to our own standards?
In case you have no idea what I mean by standards, let me give you my run down. Standards aren’t things like having blue eyes, liking reading, or going to see Wicked with me, although none of those things hurt. ;) Standards encompass so much more than worldly things. Truthfully, a lot of the standards we place on important relationships, like a boyfriend or a best friend, should come from the Bible. For example, we should love God more than the people we’re in relationships with. But, not all standards have to come from the Bible, as long as they don’t go against God’s word. For example, one of my standards is that I want any boy I date to be okay with me being best friends with boys. It’s non-negotiable for me.
Holding people, or relationships, up to high standards is incredibly easy. The hard part comes when we realize that we have to hold ourselves up to those standards. And there’s a part of me that thinks, “I just won’t hold myself up to this; there’s no reason to.” That, my friends, is a huge lie. If we don’t measure ourselves the same way we measure others, it’s simply not fair to those we turn down for our “standards.” Honestly, are our standards really standards if we don’t live up to them? I don’t think so. Only when we measure up to our standards can we really call them standards. I want my future boyfriend to be okay with me having boys as best friends, so I will have to be okay with him having girls as best friends. Boys, if you want your future girlfriend to watch football and play video games with her, then you better be ready to watch chick flicks and eat at La Madeleine with her. Sisters, if you want your brother to stop making fun of you, stop making fun of him. Just like relationships, standards aren’t a one way thing. In a relationship, both sides have to give and take. For you to have standards, you need to live up to them also.
Now, having standards is great, don’t get me wrong. But I can’t talk about standards without mentioning this, and it’s incredibly important: nobody’s perfect. Nobody will be able to live up to all of your standards one hundred percent of the time. In the same way, we won’t be able to live up to our standards all of the time. But friends, that’s where forgiveness and grace come in. When your best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, sister, brother, mother, daughter, whoever messes up, we’re called as followers of Christ to forgive them. And friends, I can’t help but think that we have a chance here to show God’s love. Because isn’t there a set of standards that God calls us to? He calls us to live holy lives, to love others unconditionally, to be joyful no matter the circumstance, to put Him before all other things. Newsflash: we don’t live up to God’s standards. Every single one of us has sinned. We’ve messed up, bad. And yet, He forgives us. Every time. His grace pours over us, and makes us new. No, we don’t measure up to God’s standards, and yet He loves us anyway. There’s something so beautiful that we can learn from that. No one will be perfect, so don’t expect them to be. Forgive. But don’t let anyone walk all over you. I’m not saying lower your standards, because God has high standards for us. I’m saying that we need to be willing to grow together. Our standards should be matched with God’s, and the whole purpose of relationships is walking with each other on our paths towards God, right?
Sweet friends, standards should be an important part of our lives. I encourage you that if you don’t know your standards for a relationship, please think about it. Find a balance between letting someone mess up and letting someone take advantage of you. I pray that you will find someone who will eat your favorite food, watch your favorite movie, be crazy with you, and chase God with you. Because after all, that’s what it’s all about right?
In case you have no idea what I mean by standards, let me give you my run down. Standards aren’t things like having blue eyes, liking reading, or going to see Wicked with me, although none of those things hurt. ;) Standards encompass so much more than worldly things. Truthfully, a lot of the standards we place on important relationships, like a boyfriend or a best friend, should come from the Bible. For example, we should love God more than the people we’re in relationships with. But, not all standards have to come from the Bible, as long as they don’t go against God’s word. For example, one of my standards is that I want any boy I date to be okay with me being best friends with boys. It’s non-negotiable for me.
Holding people, or relationships, up to high standards is incredibly easy. The hard part comes when we realize that we have to hold ourselves up to those standards. And there’s a part of me that thinks, “I just won’t hold myself up to this; there’s no reason to.” That, my friends, is a huge lie. If we don’t measure ourselves the same way we measure others, it’s simply not fair to those we turn down for our “standards.” Honestly, are our standards really standards if we don’t live up to them? I don’t think so. Only when we measure up to our standards can we really call them standards. I want my future boyfriend to be okay with me having boys as best friends, so I will have to be okay with him having girls as best friends. Boys, if you want your future girlfriend to watch football and play video games with her, then you better be ready to watch chick flicks and eat at La Madeleine with her. Sisters, if you want your brother to stop making fun of you, stop making fun of him. Just like relationships, standards aren’t a one way thing. In a relationship, both sides have to give and take. For you to have standards, you need to live up to them also.
Now, having standards is great, don’t get me wrong. But I can’t talk about standards without mentioning this, and it’s incredibly important: nobody’s perfect. Nobody will be able to live up to all of your standards one hundred percent of the time. In the same way, we won’t be able to live up to our standards all of the time. But friends, that’s where forgiveness and grace come in. When your best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, sister, brother, mother, daughter, whoever messes up, we’re called as followers of Christ to forgive them. And friends, I can’t help but think that we have a chance here to show God’s love. Because isn’t there a set of standards that God calls us to? He calls us to live holy lives, to love others unconditionally, to be joyful no matter the circumstance, to put Him before all other things. Newsflash: we don’t live up to God’s standards. Every single one of us has sinned. We’ve messed up, bad. And yet, He forgives us. Every time. His grace pours over us, and makes us new. No, we don’t measure up to God’s standards, and yet He loves us anyway. There’s something so beautiful that we can learn from that. No one will be perfect, so don’t expect them to be. Forgive. But don’t let anyone walk all over you. I’m not saying lower your standards, because God has high standards for us. I’m saying that we need to be willing to grow together. Our standards should be matched with God’s, and the whole purpose of relationships is walking with each other on our paths towards God, right?
Sweet friends, standards should be an important part of our lives. I encourage you that if you don’t know your standards for a relationship, please think about it. Find a balance between letting someone mess up and letting someone take advantage of you. I pray that you will find someone who will eat your favorite food, watch your favorite movie, be crazy with you, and chase God with you. Because after all, that’s what it’s all about right?